Okay, okay, I'm late. I know. This post has been brewing since January 1, but I just haven't had the time to sit down and write it properly until now. I gotta start this year off talking about Jesus for real! Wanna hear it? Here it go!
The start of a new year is always so exciting and full of possibility to me, and this year I have hardly been able to contain myself. I mean since God's mercies are new for us every morning, how much greater must his mercies be for us at the start of not only a brand new day, but a shiny, brand-spanking-new year? I have woken up all 6 mornings of 2013 filled with expectation for what God has in store for me. Mostly, I am filled with joy that this will be the first year I spend fully seeking him in all areas of my life.
For years I told people I was a "spiritual, but not religious" Christian. If I remember correctly, Match.com even had a special box to check for people like me seeking other spiritual, but not religious people. I felt totally validated when I saw that little box and clicked my check with pride. I have tons of friends who claim this title. I meet random strangers who proudly wear it. After all, who wants to be associated with a bunch of religious, bigoted, stick in the mud (or up the butt), zealots? Not I. Not then...and not now as a follower of Christ.
The real problem: well it was a cop out. Saying I was spiritual meant I could pray to a big God who I did not know when I had a big problem. Being non-religious meant I could still drink, smoke, cuss, judge, sleep around, gossip, be a (self) hater, tell dirty jokes, ignore the homeless, and plunge myself into any other level of debauchery and dissipation I so pleased. I didn't want to exchange my crazy fun for the crazy boredom I thought would accompany Christianity. It also meant I could hold myself above those people who gave up on the "fun" stuff in life.
Last year it clicked: following Christ has little to do with following the rules and much to do with following His heart. My new favorite phrase is "Relationship not Religion." I don't drink or cuss as much anymore. I don't smoke or sleep around. And it's not because the Bible says don't do it. It's because I've gotten into this very serious, very committed relationship with Christ, and He just isn't so into those things. So, I'm not into them anymore either. The Bible is His love letter to me, and in it He tells me I am beautiful, and wonderful, and valuable, and that I am no better than and definitely no worse than the people around me. I have a hard time doing the things I used to now that I'm in love with a man who thinks so highly of me.
Besides, in this new agreement we have with God, he never asks us to be good on our own. He asks us to believe in his Son and to trust in his Spirit, and he will make us into the people he wants us to be. "Come as you are" has more to do with the state of your soul, than it does with whether you wear those distressed jeans to church anyway.
Giving up some of that was easy; it made me feel like crap anyway, but I'd convinced myself it was fun. And I still struggle with some of the other things, like letting that green jelly-eyed monster roar it's head, mostly because I am overly critical of myself. But God still loves me this way. He gives me a new chance everyday to get it right. He'll love me until I change. He'll love me into changing.
I have a few resolutions this year. One of them being to stop being so critical of myself. I'm starting to see that I abuse myself way more than I would ever allow anyone else to abuse me - which is silly and doesn't line up with the woman I want to be at the end of the year. One of the others is to strengthen this beautiful relationship I've gotten into with Christ. The two are interconnected. But then again, it all is when Jesus is at the center. I'm all about "Relationship not Religion" in 2013, and if you are a fellow "spiritual, but not religious" Christian, I encourage you to consider this new mindset as well. I promise you can still have fun...if not more fun, and your life will never be the same. :-)
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